A lightbulb moment?

Having a bizarre liking for lightbulb jokes, my favourite is

Q: How many crime mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.

I would like to set a challenge for lightbulb jokes concerning shale gas and all who are involved. Shalegasophobes, Cuadrilla executives, the drilling roughnecks, the Balcombe softnecks - no drill holes barred.

I'll start with one:

Q: How many shale gas protestors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None — don't go near that bulb! It's full of toxic chemicals and gas.